September 8, 2015

50 Shades of Fluff

From a Man’s Perspective

“There’s something sexy about a man talking about cloth diapers,” said a sultry voice as she walked towards my conversation carrying nothing but a red cloth diaper and her desire to hear more of my diapering conversation. “Can I show you how this works?” she said flashing her long, black eyelashes. “I would like that” I said. She began unsnapping the diaper slowly, deliberately, one snap at a time moving her hands and fingers as though this wasn’t her first time. My eyes began to widen as the diaper grew larger and larger. Although it felt as if time had stopped, it was only a matter of seconds before the diaper was at its full, complete size.

She laid it gently on the table, spreading it to its full potential. She ran her manicured finger across the soft micro-fleece following the contours of its sides describing how firmly it fit around the legs and back. “Would you like to reach inside?” She said with a devilish grin. I didn’t have to answer; she already knew I wanted to. I gently slipped my finger and thumb into the slit in the front until I felt something soft. “Go ahead…pull it out” she said. At this point I knew I was in for something special and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was ready for me to quit playing.

With my other hand I firmly grasped the opposite end of the diaper to show it that I was in charge. I pulled and couldn’t believe what came next. I could see the wave of extreme satisfaction bursting from her as I held the two inserts between my fingers. We both knew this was what I had been thirsting for. I couldn’t take it any longer. I had an uncontrollable desire and knew that I had to do what I wanted. I immediately threw the inserts to the side, swept the clutter to make room and we did it right there on the table…wrote a purchase order.

It’s no secret that diapering of any kind is not nearly as glamorous as my totally true story (that I made up). You put a diaper on your baby, baby messes in the diaper, you take it off, put a new one on and the cycle continues. I want to let all my fellow dads out there know that cloth diapers can be fun. They have a few amazing differences. First, your savings is equivalent to a fully set-up man cave. Second, they are super soft! So soft it makes me envious. They also have snaps, which are like little padlocks that keep your kid from ripping off his diaper and running around like Frank the Tank. This is parenthood.

The reality is that it always comes down to the topic of poop! “What do you do with the poop?!?” is the number one question we get asked. There are actually 3 options and none of them involving touching it. This is something we discuss in our Cloth 101 classes. We would love the opportunity to educate you on this choice, whether you decide it is for your family or not. I challenge any dad out there to give it a try for themselves.

Who knows…you might just like changing diapers.